animals not allowed

Blah blah blah dietary restrictions blah blah blah. That's what I heard in March, when my doctor told me that I wasn't allowed to eat red meat or cheese for three months to help lower my unusually high (well, not unusually; this is coming from a girl who would eat sausage for breakfast, ham for lunch, and steak for dinner) cholesterol levels. So, the challenge began. No meat/cheese for three months, "unless [I] really had to," said the doctor. And I did restrict it for three months. I would go two weeks without having either and then all of a sudden accidentally eat the shredded cheese on the salad or cave into a craving for ice cream. But then I'd return to my restrictions until another accidental break.

So, this brings me to two weeks ago, when my three month sentence was up. I hadn't gone to the doctor, but I decided to start eating meat (and related animal products) again. So there I went. I ate pork and brie and apple pie without abandon. (Not all together, at once, I assure you.) I felt awful. Not morally or mentally, but physically. My insides burned, my head ached, my stomach puffed out, and I became exhausted. After three months of going to bed early and waking up early and going through the day feeling refreshed and happy, I slept till 12:30 both days on the weekend. What a waste of time, says my inner vegetarian. I gorged myself in pizza, which I found to be less tasty than I had remembered, and cured meats, that hadn't given me the same satisfaction as they had given me a year ago. What was wrong with me? So here I was, sitting on the edge of my bed, stomach extended, feeling stupid and sluggish. Had these vegetarians been on to something? When I didn't eat animal products, I felt clear and sound. I could recall anything I had ever been taught (okay, this is an exaggeration, but I definitely had more "on" days than "off.") Could it be true that animals were ruining my brain?

Okay, okay. I know how I sound. Here's selfish Kristi Columbus, a tasty animal eater who could care less about the welfare of animals. I do care about animals! I do care about their welfare! Especially the little pigs; they're the cute ones, and unfortunately, to me, the most delicious. So, I have come to this conclusion: For the rest of summer, I will not eat any meat or dairy and I will see how I feel. (However, this does not exclude fish and sea creatures.) Extreme? Yes. Insane? Maybe. I'm just willing to see how long I survive, without the option of "cheating" or failure. Thus it begins, no animals until September first.

Updates will follow.